I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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