I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
