Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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