i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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