This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
