I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
