oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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