I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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