Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
