Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
