garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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