Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
