yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
