Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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