I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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