so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
