toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize