Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
