Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
