Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
