We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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