Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
