scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
