You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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