Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
