I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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