as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
