I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i dont even know how to be here
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
