If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
