just come out here and I will go home with you...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
