Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
