So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
