everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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