he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
