I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
