Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
