can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
