I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
