drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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