Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
