You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize