god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
