will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
