Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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