I want to stick my p in your. b.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
His hands were made for my vagina.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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