Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
