doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My cat gives me a boner
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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