AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
