I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
