her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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