In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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