I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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