Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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