She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize