you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
