Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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