yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
worst night to have a conscience
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
