He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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