I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize