this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize