Jerry, you need to find god
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
