hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
