If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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